Grandiose Delusions (Tempered by Realism)

I've been mulling over some philosophical concepts lately with my focus being on the role of the individual in human history. Who am I (as an individual)? How often will individuals actually be able to leave an impact on the world? What about the multitude of individuals whose passing from this world leaves not a trace in the annals of history? From these questions I have drawn some personal conclusions about dreams of grandeur and their relationship to realism.

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
― Ernest Hemingway

I find it may be beneficial if I state my conclusion first and then provide my reasoning. I do not contend that I have found a conclusion which is true for all people, just one that resonates with me personally and may with others as well. My conclusion is best stated by Hemingway above but in relation to both the individual and human history. The purpose of the individual is to have a fulfilling journey towards an end without focusing so much on the culmination and achievement of personal goals that the journey itself becomes a "means to an end." For human history a natural end is beyond the scope of our analogy, nevertheless the concept of the journey may still provide some enlightenment. Human history is not so much about the achievements of any one person but about the gradual civilization of the human race. What I mean by civilization is working toward the ideals of peace, harmony, utopia, and perfection. Now again this is quite probably unachievable yet the journey as well as the progress toward that goal may matter more than the unattainability of the dream itself.

Since my own concentration has been on the purpose of the individual let me begin there. Every sentient and conscious person has a sense of self-awareness. Each of us moves through life coming into contact with other people who also have their own self-awareness. Now this seems tautological but with a bit of patient thought it instead becomes rather remarkable. Let me use myself as the archetype. Many things that I do are for the purpose of achieving my goals for the future. In addition I also have a longing to make a difference in the world, for it to have mattered that I existed. That being said some of my childhood dreams were grandiose in the sense that I envisioned myself being the most brilliant scientist who ever existed. My childishness wanted my future self to be forever recorded in history as a person of importance. Unfortunately this position of note in history, if it were ever attained, is fleeting for there is always a new person who is better and brighter. A new generation usually brings forth powerful, influential, and brilliant figures who contest or negate the superiority of figures in the past. All of this is assuming that importance is actually achieved; but there are so many individuals who live and have lived that not every person will be able to stand out from the rest of humanity. 

So again let us consider the individual. I, as an individual, have a desire to leave a mark on the world and for my existence to have mattered. However, isn't this what everyone wants to some extent, to be important. Every person is full of dreams and hopes and inherently longs for their life to have meaning. That being said how does one find fulfillment in life if "having mattered" is a criteria. Also, as mentioned previously, historical renown is often not the answer due to its transient nature. I posit that this human hunger to have meaning and purpose can be satiated, at least in part, by viewing the individual in sharp relief against humanity as a whole.

“We know what we are, but not what we may be.”
― William Shakespeare

When I was young I had big dreams, in fact I still have big dreams. I wanted to become like Albert Einstein and change the world. Who I was is clear to me, and who I am now is even more evident. The person who I wish to become… now that where the hardship of reality intercedes. Is it in my power to become what and who I wish to become? How should the grandiose delusions of childhood be tempered, and to what extent, by the harsh reality of life?

For me my dream is to do something revolutionary for Physics. While I was talking to a Professor one day he made a comment along the following lines that resonated with me. Paraphrasing, he said that all we can hope for is to make some small contribution to the field (Mathematics in this case) which will enable progress. Now in this thought is the gem of an answer to some of my questions. Any intelligent work (revolutionary or not) my future self does in my field will progress science and thus civilization further along. While it may be arrogant to assume that I will be important or brilliant enough to "change the world" myself, instead it is perfectly acceptable to find contentment in the progression of science.

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
― Lemony Snicket

Much hard work goes into making a revolutionary discovery in science, especially when one is considering theoretical physics. This of course means that success depends to a great extent on the individual and their abilities. However, fate and luck seem to have a role to play as well. Some great scientist could spend years working towards a theory only to find out that it is a dead end after much toil. This is part of the reason why the process of discovery itself has to be fulfilling to the scientist. Some brilliant scientists go their whole lives without much recognition only to find fame after their death. However, we can take heart that each scientist can find fulfillment in the process of scientific discovery as well as satisfaction in the progression of science and civilization as a whole.

I use science as an example because it is the field where my passions lie but I believe that this concept of the journey and progress can apply to many other aspects of life. For civil rights, political systems, ethics, humanitarian efforts, and many others it is progress towards an ideal that indicates success of an individual and an era. Even something as simple as raising children to be more intelligent, be kinder, and to have more opportunities is progressing the human race. Spreading love and peace and relieving the suffering of others are ways to press humanity forward. Life is full of opportunities to increase the goodness in the world and if an individual can do at least that then they have left an impact. They have made a difference.

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

I still have huge dreams… and I always will. Yet as life seems to rush past me, memories created and forgotten, I will find contentment in striving to leave a positive impact on everyone I come into contact with. Hopefully my work will be revolutionary and I will be able to achieve all of my dreams, no matter how grand they may be. Nevertheless, I will commit myself to the advancement of science, to the increasing civilization of the human race, and to ameliorating the suffering of other human beings.

The march towards a more perfect future, towards a grand dream, towards the quixotic… that is fulfillment to me. The overall journey of the human race, of which the journey of each individual forms an integral part, provides meaning for the masses of humanity which would be so easily forgotten by time otherwise.


“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.”
― Robert Louis Stevenson